I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
