he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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