he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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