Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
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he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
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my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes