Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is