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We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
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