threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon