Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.

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(410): View more from Maryland

A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.

(410): View more from Maryland

and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone

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(616): View more from Michigan

The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(608): View more from Wisconsin

no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way

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(613): View more from Ontario

LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE

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