So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE