false alarm. still invincible.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
