I wanna passion pit in your ass
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
