I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize