And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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