I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
