Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
