Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
