After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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