porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
