I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
