I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
