I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
ok first of all what the fuck
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
