I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
