You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
