I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i will never coherently bang her
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
