I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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