sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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