my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
