im holly from the hills drunk
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
