You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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