and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
