I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
