final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
please don't ironically join a cult
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