So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
