Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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