I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
