lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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