Is it normal to miss your booty call?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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