saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
