i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
