plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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