If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
