I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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