You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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