nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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