he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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