so explain again why im purple
no
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
