I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
