ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
