I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
