wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
