i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It's Friday. Sex?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
