I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
