Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
