Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize