yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
