Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
