Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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