I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
