I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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