I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
