I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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