I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
