I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
