return my video game
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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