look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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