Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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