The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
