The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
