I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize