is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize