I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
