I'm lost and stupid without you.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize