i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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